As Ye Sow
by Manchester
Summary: Taking advantage of a moment's distraction to either appear or disappear without warning when that person feels the conversation is over or should start with scaring the other participant out of their socks is very impressive. It's still rude, mind you.
Author's Note: This story is a continuation of the events previously taking place in my other story "A Flyin' Rat? How's That Workin' Out For Ya?" also presented here on fanfiction. Go read that one first and then come back here to keep from being confused, all right?

* * *

"Boo."

* * *

For a while, Faith didn't understand just why she hung around. Sure, Gotham needed a Slayer like any other big city having a demon problem and it kept her on the go enough doing the usual stake-and-slice gig. It still took only a few weeks for the local vampire population to reach near-extinction levels with the smarter fangsters leaving town in a real big hurry before they also were dusted. After that, it got definitely boring which meant Faith tried to find something more fun to stay busy until the New Council assigned this roaming Slayer to another location requiring Faith's supreme demon-eradication skills.

Translation: she went out looking for trouble and maybe a coupla laughs, too.

* * *

"Boo."

* * *

Walking through the massive cavern under Wayne Manor filled with its odd mixture of deep shadows and cutting-edge crime-fighting technology, Alfred Pennyworth picked up Master Bruce's new cape where this item had been tossed onto a tabletop. His employer was presently occupied sitting at this table and tinkering with the helmet resting in front of the intent man dressed in what remained of The Batman costume.

Ignoring how Alfred tidily put away the cape in its storage locker where it replaced the previous cape mysteriously lost on a patrol last month of which Master Bruce for some reason refused to explain to his butler exactly what had transpired during then, that last surviving Wayne descendant made a final delicate adjustment to the electronic device placed inside the helmet's pointed earpieces. Nodding in satisfaction, Bruce closed the ear flaps to return the helmet into its normal black sleekness and admired his hours of hard labor.

A clearing of Alfred's throat back again at Bruce's side concluded in a calm inquiry, "Was there a problem with the aural amplifiers, sir?"

Looking up at the only person in the entire world he unreservedly trusted, Bruce gave Alfred a rare smile. "No, Alfred, just modifying it to increase the sound levels. I thought I needed to hear things better on patrol with the amplifiers."

Alfred's left eyebrow lifted fractionally, but he showed no other reaction than a dignified reply. "Very good, sir. I do hope the safety protocols remain unchanged. It wouldn't do for your eardrums to meet in the middle of your head at the first honk of a nearby car horn."

"Oh, relax, Alfred. This will work just fine."

"As you say, sir."

* * *

"Boo."

* * *

Alfred stopped at the edge of the enormous gym floor in one offshoot of the Batcave. Master Bruce was standing in the middle of this, as still as a statue while dressed up in full finery as Gotham's protector. Scattered onto the floor around The Batman were numerous crushed examples of-

A flicker of motion caught Alfred's eye beyond the far edge of the gym floor at about twice head level. The paper airplane propelled through the air several seconds ago by an automatic launcher drifted soundlessly in a random curve towards Master Bruce's chest.

Knowing that the younger man was keeping his eyes closed and had no way to sense anything coming nearer except through the most minor shifts of air pressure caused by the approaching paper airplane, Alfred waited patiently. Sure enough, when the toy got within arm's reach, Master Bruce's gloved hand unerringly shot forward and plucked the paper airplane out of the air with no trouble at all. Crumpling the captured projectile into a tiny ball, The Batman tossed it onto the gym floor to join the others.

At that point, Alfred seized the opportunity to announce, "Lunch is ready, sir."

Returning to his immobile posture, Bruce impatiently responded, "Later, Alfred."

"That's what you said this morning when you refused your breakfast after returning from patrol, sir. If you've lost track of time as you have a habit of doing, it means you've been at this for the last six hours."

"I obviously need the practice! _Nobody_ should've-!"

Alfred waited for Master Bruce to continue with his annoyed outburst, but The Batman abruptly cut himself off in mid-rant. It'd been quite a long time since Alfred had seen that exact expression now displayed on the masked man's lower face, but the son of Thomas Wayne glowering off into the distance was actually pouting.

Deciding that discretion was the better part of valor for the nonce, Alfred inclined his head in obedience. "Very good, sir. I'll just warm up your meal whenever you finish."

With that last statement, Alfred smoothly turned around and strode away from the gym floor. He didn't give any sign a few seconds later that he'd heard Master Bruce utter a grumpy snarl under his breath nor the faint crackle of a paper ball being viciously kicked by a midnight-black combat boot.

* * *

"Boo."

* * *

"A military-grade specialized security system for nuclear weapons storage sites utilizing low-level laser beams capable of bypassing any known means of detection, sir? Dare I ask how much it cost?"

"Lucius said the Pentagon was willing to sell it to Wayne Enterprises for further research and testing for less than a hundred million. He won't have any problem hiding it from the stockholders in this year's budget."

"Have I ever mentioned my last raise was twenty years ago, sir?"

"What's that, Alfred?"

"Never mind, sir. Enjoy your newest toy."

"Oh, I will. She won't get past _this._ "

"She, sir?"

"Uh… Forget I said that, all right?"

"Already forgotten, sir. I'll get your costume."

* * *

"Boo."

* * *

"Another rough night on patrol, sir?"

"Shut up, Alfred."

* * *

*Damn, but this was great! She owed Red big time, handin' over the magic ring that made alla Batboy's gizmos a wasted effort. Fair was fair, though. If he could notice a Slayer lurkin' in the night with only his natural gifts before Faith sneaked up on the guy and breathed into one pointy ear, Mr. Scowl-Face won hands down.*

*Hadn't happened so far, 'course. Gotta admit, he was gettin' better. The last coupla times, Batboy almost did it, but almost don't count when the mean and nasty got started. So, you could say she was doin' him a favor, right? Sharpenin' up his skills, that kinda thing.*

Smirking in the dark city alley, Faith easily leapt two stories upwards, grabbing hold onto the exterior fire escape rail and continued heading towards the apartment roof level.

* * *

At the top floor holding the Police Department Bat-Signal switched off minutes earlier, two men finished their regular nighttime conference among the skyscraper view. Commissioner Gordon, having told The Batman about Two-Face's latest escape from Arkham Asylum (and accepting without surprise the news his costumed ally already knew about this while having several possible leads about where to find and recapture Harvey Dent) turned away to walk towards the door leading back down to his office. Gotham's top cop didn't bother with goodbyes or trying to catch The Batman leaving. He'd never had any luck with the latter before, so why bother-

"Commissioner?"

Huh, that was new, James Gordon blinked to himself. Facing the man clad in black and possessing a yellow bat-symbol on his upper body, the astonished policemen then heard what he in no way ever expected:

"Jim, I'd like to apologize. There's no excuse except for my paranoia for all the other times I've treated you so rudely, walking out on you in the middle of our discussions. I know it must've pissed you off, and starting now, it won't happen again. Thank you for putting up with my impolite behavior."

Nodding farewell to the shocked commissioner, The Batman put out a hand and from this he fired his Bat-Grapple towards the apartment building closest to their location. The head of the grapple trailing behind itself a steel cable hit and stuck into the roof edge. Touching a button on the grapple stock reeled in the cable and lifted The Batman off his feet.

Swinging over the city street a hundred yards below, The Batman landed on the apartment roof and glanced backwards over a shoulder. Commissioner Gordon was still staring after his departed visitor, to then give himself a somewhat disbelieving shake and also leaving the police department roof through the entry door.

Glad it'd gone so well, The Batman walked along the roof edge and aimed his grapple towards the next building on. Just before he fired, a woman's sultry voice purred into one cowl ear:

"Boo."

An instant flinch of The Batman's arm, accompanied by his fingers clenching onto the trigger button made the grapple explode vertically towards the night skies. Still holding onto the grapple while whirling around on the roof edge, The Batman glared at the female shape barely distinguishable in the shadows even with her lips pulled back in a wicked grin revealing white teeth.

Just about to yell at the Slayer there, The Batman had to hurriedly take a step to the left to keep from being struck right on the head by the falling Bat-Grapple and its loose cable which clattered onto the apartment roof.

Enjoying herself hugely, Faith then sympathetically reassured the furious man, "Hey, fella, every guy jumps the gun once in a while foolin' 'round in bed with their gal. Don't worry, there's gotta be medicine for that! See ya later, when some jizz doc fixes yer little problem."

Rendered completely speechless by what she'd just said, The Batman gawked at how Faith then hopped off the building roof edge. Waving a cheerful good-bye while descending four building stories, Faith used this hand to next grab a convenient wall cornice. An acrobatic twist of her body sent Faith disappearing into the night.

Staying there for a good long minute, Bruce Wayne eventually looked up at the heavens. Heaving an heartfelt sigh of "Why me?", this costumed crimebuster began to gather up the grapple while also trying to plan the best approach of how to avoid ever mentioning this to Alfred, just like all the other previous occasions.

Yes, he trusted Alfred. It still wouldn't stop the butler from laughing out loud at his wealthy employer. Or much worse, somehow meeting that dreadful young woman and setting up a _date_ between her and Master Bruce.

* * *

Further Author's Note: In the 'Stealth Hi/Bye' tv tropes, a certain Gotham hero obsessed with flying mammals is _the_ archetype of this specific trope, having his own separate category among the others from everywhere else in popular culture.


End file.
